4 Reasons Why She Doesn't Call You Back
Question from FitBuff Member: Xavier from Pennsylvania
"I'm pretty good at getting girls' numbers, but they hardly ever call back. Why would she give me her number, if she doesn't plan on calling me back?"
Answer: Excellent question Xavier! This seemingly unusual behavior stumps the minds of many men. Here are 4 of the most common reasons why your phone isn't ringing, along with advice on how to make sure it never stops!
You're out for a night on the town, and you're feeling great. Your confidence is up, your breath is minty fresh, and you've still got a little pump going from that workout you did a few hours ago. You spot your target over by the bar: a tall, slim, exotic beauty laughing it up with her equally hot friends. They are arranged with their backs to the bar and are facing out into the action (good sign, they're open for approach).
You remind yourself again how great you feel and make your way over to Long-Legged Lane. You open with a funny line about them blocking your path to the bar. They all giggle, and that's the last thing you remember. After that, everything happened so quickly, but you do remember that the tall, slim, exotic beauty gave you her number (nice work!).
The next day at home, you find the folded napkin in your pocket. Carmella. You can barely make out your half-nervous, half-excited handwriting. You dial the number…ring…ring…ring…"Hi, this is Carmella, I'm not around right now, so leave me a message after the beep." Well, you heard the woman, she said, "leave me a message."
"Uhh…hello…this is Bob…I met you last night at…um…that bar…I can't think of the name of it…but, yeah, I was just calling to see if maybe you wanted to…uh…get together…ok…thanks, bye." Wooo! That was intense, and you're glad it's over. Now, you sit back and wait for Carmella to call you back.
Next day. She still hasn't called back. She must be busy, right? Probably hasn't checked her voicemail yet. Day 3: Still nothing. But, she gave me her real number, so I know she likes me, and she'll call back! Day 4, 5, 6: (crickets chirping)
We've all been in Bob's position. What happened here? Why would a girl give us her phone number and then completely ignore our call(s)?
There are many common reasons why they torture you so, along with any number of other infinite possibilities. We'll explore the top 4 below:
- Ego: Yes, it's true. Women have egos just like us. Sometimes, when she is feeling "unsexy" or "unloved", a woman may give you her number just to boost her self-esteem. This simple act reminds her that men find her attractive and are actively pursuing her. It doesn't mean she's a bad person or an attention whore–necessarily. We all have days when we could use a little boost, and we succumb to our own egos.
- Too Nice: Some women are just too nice. They think it's so sweet and cute that you came over to them, they can't shoot you down, even if they're not attracted to you at all. So, she gives you her number, knowing that she has no intention of returning your calls. Again, not a terrible thing to do, given the alternative. Imagine being a beautiful woman who gets approached by dozens, if not hundreds, of guys per week. You'd probably find yourself doing the same thing.
- You Called Too Soon: There's all sorts of "scientific" rules on how long you should wait to call. Some say 2 days, some 3 days, some an entire week! The truth is the time varies depending on every situation. In Bob's case, he just had a brief encounter with Carmella and probably didn't spend more than 2-3 minutes with her and her friends. Therefore, there wasn't much of a connection made, and Carmella may have thought he came on a little too strong/desperate by calling less than 12 hours later.
On the other hand, if you meet a woman for the first time, and you can really feel a great connection and spark between the two of you, she would probably love it if you called her the very next day. I know it's confusing, but welcome to the wonderful world of women. The key is to assess each situation and woman. If it's a casual meeting and you know she probably isn't waiting by the phone for your call, then wait 2-3 days and play it cool. If you feel something special with a girl you just met and you think she does too, then call her the next day to put both of your minds at ease and set up the next meeting.
- Voicemail Message - You may have done everything right: smooth and confident in the opener, charmed her and had her laughing, and waited 2-3 days to call. But, once you got the voicemail on the first call, you panicked. You stumbled through your message with "uh's" and "um's", and you weren't clear on when you wanted to get together or what you wanted to do. Now, the cool, confident guy she met the other night doesn't seem as attractive. Remember, to put it in perspective: for women, confidence ranks about as high as boobs and butts do for us!
Whether you get the voicemail or her directly, be casual and assertive. Say, "Hey Carmella! It's Bob, we met the other night at Mulligan's. I'm going out Wednesday night to grab a drink, and I'd love it if you came along. My number is 555-5555. Talk to you soon!" (You're free to use this word-for-word, but don't get nervous and actually say "555-5555". Insert your own number please.)
Also, if you made a joke or any kind of funny remark that she laughed at when you first met, bring that up in the message in a humorous way. This will remind her why she gave you her number in the first place: you made her laugh and seem like a fun guy to be around (translation: you're getting a callback!).
The most important thing to remember is, "Never get hung up (pun intended) on one girl you just met!" If you've ruled out the most common reasons for her not calling back and followed all the advice above, just move on. There's literally an infinite number of nuances and possibilities as to why you're calls are falling on deaf ears. It's OK. It's happened to even the smoothest of players, and it's part of dating.
Now, get out there, get some more numbers, and get some more callbacks! They say, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't shoot." Well, "100% of the women you DON'T call will never call you back!"
Do you have a success and/or failure story about getting a woman's number? Share your experience, and tell us what happened!
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Comments
[...] presents 4 Reasons Why She Doesn't Call You Back posted at FitBuff.com's Total Mind and Body Fitness Blog, saying, "Next day. She still [...]
Well although I admit that I am the opposite of the successful guy with women, I still believe that my opinion might be of some worth.
I believe that you don't have to wait in order to know if she will call you back, the truth is there, the chance is there, what ever you have to do, say or try just do it there on the first time even before you get her number (of course although I know what I should do as many men do know, I am unable to act in accordance to my knowledge, fear and other emotions always win, the more I like the girl the less chances I have!!!).
I mean what's the big deal about getting her number, why you believe you will be better, more confident, more attracting, more cool, more funny etc the second time you will see her! Usually it is the opposite, the second time you will be less capable, the more you connect, the more you like her, the more you think of her the more you hurt your chances!
I mean come on, give me a break about this "get number" deal, you have the chance to "play", there in front of you, you have the chance to decide going on or moving away just in front of you (and I don't mean to be fast and brutal), you have the chance to decide if it is worth and is going to work even before you get the number (this is better, you avoid spending time and heart breaking). If you cannot pass her tests on that night, if you cannot make your self comfortable with her on that night, if you don't make her wanting to stay and talk with you at those moments before getting the number why you believe will do better after getting the number.
Do not get her number, don't ask it if you know that it is not going to work. And come one guys, we know it, in every game there is a moment that the looser decides to loose (I am an expert on this), after that moment he has no chance, all he does are just unworthy moves until he realzies it is over (the sooner you realize you lost the better).
I am sorry for not being optimistic, but I will tell you one thing, the sooner you leave the better!!! even if she could be the woman of your life no problem, cause you don't know it, cause there are so many other "women of your life".
Sory for being long, conclusion: play the game before getting the number, if success then ask the number, unless you want to gain some experience in the rejection area!
I couldn't agree anymore about not getting hung up on the girl we just meet. There are so many issues in the society that it is futile to spend too much time trying to figure out the reasons why she does what she is doing. Of course that changes when one starts to get to know the girl a bit after a few dates.
so, i meet this girl.. talk to her and her friend for couple minutes, and leave em alone. Later in the night, I meet em again. This time, the girl I was interested in looked like she is very interested in talking.. so I offered to buy her a drink, isolate her from her friends.. talk for long time.. we have fun.. we go to dance floor.. things get quite cozy ;-)so after 30 mins or so, I kiss her bye (on the chick) she asks me to call her the next day for lunch..
I call her the next day around 3 pm.. cause i remember she said she works till 1pm.. (waited couple hours so i dont seem needy).. she doesnt answer, I leave a message.. and she doesnt call back.. i dont know what the f is the problem.. i am really clueless.. we really had great time, conversation, she wasnt drunk (obviously she had couple drinks)but everything seemed great…
this just sucks..
my message was- hey this is shawn.. met you last night at [bar name]wondering how is your day today, give me a call sometime, we will chat!
I freaken hate this!
Adult Online Dating Carnival, July 3, 2007
Welcome to the July 3, 2007 edition of carnival of adult online dating.
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