Female orgasm. For a lot of men, just hearing those two words is enough to drudge up feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, nervousness, embarrassment, and more. Few men have mastered the art of attraction, even fewer the art of sexual energy, and fewer still the art of giving a woman the mind-blowing and addictive type of pleasure that will leave her in awe of the passionate being that delivered it to her.
Some women go the first few decades of their lives without ever having an orgasm (can you imagine, fellas?!). Then, there's the women that can have an orgasm, but only when they're alone, not during intercourse. And finally, there are even some women who claim to be unable to ever orgasm at all (although, I'm a firm believer that EVERY woman is fully capable of having an orgasm, if her and her partner are willing to give it the effort and time it deserves. BUT, that's for another article coming up soon, "I Can't Have an Orgasm â€“ What's Wrong with Me?").
Granted, the female orgasm is much more elusive and complex than its prehistoric male counterpart. Ultimate female pleasure also involves many more emotional and psychological issues. We, as horny adult males, can be ready to climax at the slightest glimpse of a Victoria's Secret commercial. Many women, however, need to feel totally at ease and relaxed to even have a chance at experiencing the magnificent physical sensations that we take for granted. I'm sure you've heard my favorite analogy for this distinction: "Men are like light switches, and women are like volume knobs."
So, your first priority is just that – make her feel like the safest, sexiest, most beautiful woman in the entire world. Don't let the thoughts of, "Will he think I'm a slut?", "Is he looking at my scar?", "I shouldn't be doing this.", or any of the other million dilemmas women face, ever enter her mind. With the way you caress her and the way you gaze into her eyes, you have to make sure she knows that there isn't anywhere else you would rather be right now than right there with her. This is infinitely more important than any physical trick or technique you could ever learn. Create an environment with your body language, your energy, and your passion that will make her forget about everything else and live fully in this one moment with you (hopefully more than ONE moment, but you get the idea).
OK, so you think you understand the "why" and "how" of creating a suitable environment for the female orgasm to be unleashed? Now, you want to know the "what" to do, the "technique", the "trick". Well, you've made it this far, so I guess you've earned a straight-to-the-point, no "emotion schmotion" way to satisfy your woman. Not only will this electrify her and leave her begging for more, but it doesn't involve your "little buddy" at all, which means you'll last longer too.
First, warm her up with the usual kissing, licking, touching, rubbing, etc. (more on the advanced foreplay techniques in an upcoming article). When you both are fully primed, it's time to head south. Slowly lick around her clit in a circular motion, and gently blow a puff or two of air on the clit, but don't directly touch it just yet. You want to build her arousal like this for about 1-2 minutes, before finally just grazing the clit with a flick of your tongue. Now, with your palm facing up, insert your middle and ring finger together inside her. About two inches in, on the upper wall, you will find the "in"famous G-spot. It's the small circular spot that often has a "spongy" type feel and should be distinguishable from the rest of her upper wall. While you're gently massaging this area on the inside, you want to be VERY lightly, fluttering your tongue back and forth on her clit. At this point, she should be starting to squirm, and use her moving hips to guide your speed and pressure (it's true, Hips DON'T Lie).
After about 1-2 minutes of this, you want to completely stop, no matter how much she is squirming. Remove your fingers, remove your tongue, and move to another part of her body. It doesn't matter where, but keep your hands, tongue, and all other appendages away from her genitals completely. Slowly trace along her legs and arms, or move to her breasts, or kiss her, or any combination of those things for 1-2 minutes. Then, you guessed it, back to the hot spot. Use the same technique you were using before, two fingers massaging the G-spot, while you flick your tongue VERY lightly across her clit. And again, after 1-2 minutes of this, move away completely to other parts of her body.
Continue this cycle until you can feel and hear that she is about to lose it. Some women may take only 2-3 cycles, some may take more. Believe me, you'll know, but just make sure you don't jump the gun and finish her off too soon. It will be more powerful the longer she waits, so when in doubt, go through one more cycle. When you've decided it's time to show her what a real man can do for her, use the same technique but only a little harder and faster. As she builds up, increase your speed and firmness in massaging her G-spot and tongue flicking her clit. Keep going until she experiences what will probably be the most intense orgasm she's ever had, and YOU will be the guy that she remembers for giving it to her.
And guess what? You still haven't even had sex yet! Now, all the pressure is off you and your aforementioned "little buddy". Sure, it's an added bonus if you know how to use him too (more on that in an upcoming article also), but now you are just getting started and with the pressure of "I have to last long enough to make her orgasm!" off your shoulders, you actually WILL last longer. Heck, you may even give her ANOTHER orgasm during intercourse now, because she's already so turned on (which reminds me of another amazing article coming soon that is guaranteed to change your sex life, "Male Multiple Orgasms – Yes Fellas, We Can Do It Too!").
Be careful though, because when you have the ability and knowledge to give a woman a mind-blowing orgasm, that's something they don't find very often, and they will be very reluctant to let it (or you) get away!